How To Get Laid: The Ultimate Guide In 51 Baby Steps
Let’s be frank here, men want
to get laid. We know women do too. I’m going to help
you out by breaking things down very simply to navigate your path in how to get
laid as quickly as possible.
It’s not rocket science, but
getting laid takes a plan mixed with a lot of
confidence.
It
might not happen on the first try, but trust me, it will eventually happen.
Getting
laid isn’t just about getting off. Sure, that can be a fun part of it.
Physical
intimacy also plays a part in developing healthy relationships. It’s the
ultimate expression of love.
That’s
why it’s so important to learn how to get laid properly so you can explore
yourself sexually and find someone on board with your idea of a healthy sex
life.
I
break down proven strategies into five phases that lead to sex step-by-step so
you can track when things work and what you need to improve on.
This isn’t about
taking advantage of women or reading off some script to pick up girls…
It’s about
putting yourself in the *best* position to find what you want and go after it.
So
here you go, my ultimate guide on how to get laid in 51 baby steps:
In
order to get laid you need to understand that your job is to sort yourself out
well enough so that someone else will want to have sex with you.
That doesn’t mean
that you have to be a gym rat or a millionaire…
Not
everyone is as funny as Chapelle, and you probably wouldn’t be reading this if
you were six foot eight with a mean jump shot…
If you
have a unique trait or skill that can pull girls, great; use it! But if not,
what we’re going for is a mix that’s good enough to close the deal.
Here’s
the first five steps in getting yourself right…
1. The Right Job
I'm
not going to spend time on the cliché that rich guys know how to get laid
because they have money.
What
I'm talking about though is how a job is an expression of who you are.
Women
crave authenticity. They want to be close to men who are passionate about work and
what they do for a living.
It’s
cool if you’re a line cook, but just be ready to talk about why you love it and
how it’s the stepping stone to get you where you want to be.
2. Get To The Gym
I
already said you didn’t have to be a gym rat, but just think about physical
fitness for a moment.
Think
about the type of women you want to date.
You
should get yourself in the same general fitness universe as the women you want
to have sex with.
Otherwise,
how can you expect them to imagine themselves getting down with you?
3. Be Genuine
Tons
of guys feel like putting on some fake persona is how to get her into bed.
That
might work occasionally, but only if they lady is doing the exact same thing.
Real
recognizes real. Getting laid is all about playing to your strengths, not being
someone you aren’t.
4. Have Goals
Men
are focused on the here and now. Women play the long game.
Even
when things are relatively new in a relationship, women have the tendency to
envision what life could look like with you.
You
need to be able to at least talk about some of your aspirations.
It
will go a long way, and if you don’t have any now, do yourself a favor and
spend some time making some.
5. Game Plan
Alright, you’re fit, you’re
confident, and you’re going places. Even you’ve fallen
in love with yourself. Now all you need is a game plan…
Going out to get laid without a
plan is only setting yourself up for failure.
You’ll
face unnecessary rejection and won’t improve your game. In the next phase, I’ll
get into setting up your plan that will make getting laid a lot easier.
Phase II. Create A Target-Rich Environment
If you
really want to get laid, you have to get out there. Luck happens when
opportunity meets preparation.
You want to get lucky, right?
Putting
yourself in the right position to meet women and push things along is how you
get it done.
We all
see some guy picking up a girl at the bar and think, wow, he must be rich, or
have some great line.
The truth is, he’s probably
tried over and over again, but all you’re seeing is when he’s striking gold…
Creating
a target-rich environment means making an effort to be somewhere you’ll get the
practice you need to start getting dates.
Here
are the next set of steps to creating those types of opportunities…
6. Join Some Clubs
Let’s
say you move to a new place and want to meet friends. What do you do? How did
you meet all your buddies in college?
Joining
a club, a gym or a class is a great way to meet new people, including women.
Odds
are you’re not going to find your dream girl living next door.
7. Start Doing Yoga
Take
this literally if you want, yoga is excellent for your health and a lot of fit,
nice women do yoga. It’s a great place to meet ladies.
The
point of this step is to go to places and join activities where there are women
you want to meet.
8. Download Dating / Hook-Up Apps
Don’t
forget about virtual environments as well. If you’re younger, you are more
likely to be familiar with the wide selection of dating apps available.
The
apps’ main goal is to connect people with similar interests.
People
who want to hook up connect with people who want to hook up, and more
relationship-inclined people find someone more serious.
9. Tweak Your Profiles
So
remember in phase one when I talked about accentuating the positive and getting
yourself, right?
Women
scroll through hundreds of profiles and have to make snap judgments based on
your pic and a few sentences describing what you’re like.
Make
sure you put your best foot forward.
A
killer profile is how to get laid. Don’t worry, they’re doing the same thing.
10. Ask Your Friends To Hook You Up
This
should be a no-brainer, but I'm putting it here just in case.
Look
around and you’ll see guys and girls in relationships everywhere that met at
work, or through friends.
The
point is that many of us end up dating people who run in close social circles.
11. Consult Your Female Friends
Hopefully
you have some female friends. If you don’t, make it a priority before you start
asking girls over for the night.
Girl
friends are some of the best resources to teach you how to get laid.
It
might sound cheesy, but they’ll tell you what women like and what moves to
avoid when you’re going in.
12. Go To Bars
Bars
are still the tried and true place to meet women and hook up. Men and women go
to bars looking to score.
Chances
are you’ll find whatever it is you’re looking for pretty quickly in a crowded
bar.
You’ll
be more comfortable in a bar you like going to, so choose a place you’d be at
anyway.
Women
often go to bars with a group of friends, so ask along some pals to play wing
man for the night.
If you want to up your
learning curve on meeting women in bars, this extensive techniques
program I review here will
accelerate your success.
13. Become A Regular Somewhere
When
you’ve found a spot you like, keep going back. Becoming a regular at a bar or
club has a lot of benefits.
The
more money you spend at one place, the more likely you’ll get treated a lot
better by the staff.
It
doesn’t hurt that someone you’re hitting on happens to notice you getting a
comped drink here and there.
They’ll
also be impressed when the bartender calls you by name.
14. Talk To Strangers
OK, so
you’re at the bar. You’ve been coming here for four nights straight and there
are always lots of women. Eventually you’re going to have to talk to them.
We know, walking up to a
girl, especially if she’s with friends is tough. She
could reject you and you could feel like a loser…
If
you’re super concerned about your approach, practice talking to strangers you
aren’t interested in.
Strike
up a conversation with someone sitting next to you at the bar, or in the
waiting room at the doctor’s office.
15. Play The Odds
Getting
laid is a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the better your
chances are of scoring.
A lot
of men sit at the bar working up the courage to try to talk to one woman each
night.
They get rejected and go
home crushed…
Guys who know how to get laid
talk to a lot of women. They learn how to read
receptive signs for women that mean they are open to talking and maybe a bit
more.
16. Don’t Let Rejection Get To You
There’s
really no way to overcome this easily. Getting turned down is the worst; no two
ways about it.
The
only way you can beat rejection is with some positive self-talk and getting
back in the ring until you find something that works.
If you want to get over
rejection faster, you should definitely look into getting this “inner game” program.
Phase III. The Setup
Alright,
we’re almost there! We’re confident, and we’re out there looking. We’re taking
chances and getting better with each successive attempt.
At
some point you’ve got to start planning for the eventuality of getting laid.
Spend a little time to make sure your place is straight, and supplies are in
order before you bring a girl over for sex.
A
little preparation now will make everything go smoothly when it counts…
17. The Prep
This
will seem basic, but so many guys still mess it up. If you live alone, it’s
easy to control the environment.
But if
you live with other people, there need to be some ground rules if one of you
happens to score…
It’s a
simple matter of asking them to either get lost or lay low when she’s over.
18. The Place
For
whatever reason, some men still fail to realize that no woman wants to have sex
in a messy house or apartment.
If
your place is a wreck, make sure it’s at least passable when she arrives.
The
nicer it looks, the greater your chances are for a return customer. Make the
bed, pick up trash, etc.
A lot
of women ask to use the bathroom when they come over.
Yes,
they’re tidying up, but they’re also peeking in the medicine cabinet and
looking at the floor to see what you’re all about.
19. The Protection
Just
make sure you have condoms on hand. Put them by the bed.
Slipping
one on is always a bit weird when it’s your first time with a girl. Make it
easy by initiating the process.
Don’t
make her ask for you to put on a condom. Be smart; have safe sex.
20. Post-Sex Process
If
you’ve had some experience getting laid, you know that sometimes you need an
escape plan.
Both
of you have had a great time, and now it’s time to say goodbye…
Not
always as easy as it seems. If you’re down with her spending the night that’s
fine, but having a smooth way to amicably part ways even in the morning will
come off pretty cool.
Phase IV. The Date
OK,
now we’re getting into deeper waters. You spoke to her, got her number, and
asked her out.
Now
it’s time for the date. Consequently, this will make or break your chances of
getting laid.
The
date is all about setting the stage for sex. Whether it’s for fun or something
more serious, the way you handle things on the first day will set the tone for
the rest of the evening.
21. The One
Regardless
of how many one-night stands you have, eventually you’re going to meet someone
you want to get to know better.
There’s
going to be a girl you take more than a passing interest in.
22. How You Ask
It’s important when you ask a
girl out that you do it directly and confidently. If you want to learn how to
do this effectively, check out my review of a highly effective program for
talking to girls here.
Don’t
hold back and make it a noncommittal invite because you’re scared of her saying
no.
That’s definitely not how
to get laid. Take the risk and ask her out. Make your invite clearly convey
that you’re into her.
23. The Follow Up
It’s
pretty smooth to leave some things open when you ask her out. Just tell her a
place and time you’ll pick her up.
That
way you can follow up with her in a couple days with plans.
Tell
her where you’ll be going and tell her how much you’re looking forward to it.
You’ve
started the process of building things up before you even see her.
24. Choose The Right Place
This
is tough, no qualms about it. Whatever you do, don’t take her to a movie where
you sit in silence for hours…
Most
importantly, the whole point of the first date is to get her to like you.
That
means getting to know her and charming her. Think about taking a walk through a
park or a neighborhood to your favorite café or restaurant as a great place to
start.
25. Choose The Right Time
The
later you can push the date into the evening, the better your odds are of
getting laid.
Set
yourself up for success by avoiding an early date start time. You’ll be stuck
trying to fill hours until the sun goes down.
26. Think About Meeting At Your Place First
Sometimes
guys have to try something slick, right? Having her meet at your place adds a
bit of intrigue to a first date.
She
also gets to see your place, so coming over for some action later won’t be the
first time she’s been there.
You
can lay it on thick if you want by “forgetting” something inside and inviting
her in for a couple minutes as you walk back for your wallet or whatever.
27. A Friendly Touch
Listen
up, it’s critical you touch your date early on and often throughout the date.
It’s not creepy, it just communicates that you are into her.
It’s a
very direct physical indication of interest. She’ll either be receptive to your
touching her lower back as you open a door for her, or she won’t, and you can
take it from there.
28. First Compliment
Just
as important as touch, you need to sincerely compliment her on her appearance
as soon as you see her.
Women
stress out about how they look, and they put in a lot of time to look nice.
Telling
her she looks great or is beautiful will put her at ease for the rest of the
night.
29. Ask Questions
Hopefully,
at this point, you know not to bring up any ex-girlfriends or talk about how
much of a jerk you can be.
Stay
positive and in the moment.
Focus on asking her questions
to really get to know her. The more you get her talking, the more
comfortable she’ll be.
30. Question/Feedback Loop
As you
ask questions, pay attention to how she’s responding. When you ask her if she
enjoys her food, a muted response could mean she’s bored and is looking for a
way out.
Same
goes for asking her how she likes her job, hobbies, or even dating preferences.
Her level of enthusiasm will mirror how happy she is with the date and how much
she likes you.
31. Give Affirmation
Do
everything you can to give positive feedback to her. Positively reciprocate
when she initiates any sort of physical touch.
Consequently,
if she mentions what a great time she’s having, make sure she knows you’re
having a blast as well.
Give
her all the cues she needs to know that you want things to keep progressing.
32. Establish Positive Connection Points
You’ve
got to find a way to connect on the date. Whether it’s talking about hobbies,
common friends or past experiences, establishing rapport means building off
common foundations.
It’ll
create an actual connection between the two of you.
33. Topics Of Conversation
If
you’re going out with someone for the first time, you need to be prepared for
lulls in conversation.
What
are you doing to do during an awkward silence?
Even
though it may sound lame, have some things to talk about before the date so you
have something to fall back on.
I recommend loading up your
conversation arsenal by going through this hilarious course about how to make women laugh that I review here.
34. Make It A Multiple-Location Date
Dates
with multiple stops give you more time to get to know each other.
Therefore,
if you’re a bit formal over dinner, taking a walk in the park or grabbing some
ice cream a few blocks down will loosen things up.
It
takes the stress off of deciding whether to hook up after only an hour or two
together.
Phase V. The Clinch
You’ve
followed the steps and made all the right moves. She’s smiling and touching you
back, laughing at all of your jokes.
It’s
all right there in front of you and now all you have to do is make it happen.
Knowing
how to get laid when all the prep work is done is the most important phase.
Time
to go out and close…
35. Make Your Move Early On
Making
the move early on is a great way to cut to the chase. Not a lot of women will
go on pity dates just because someone asked, but this is a perfect way to weed
out that possibility.
Don’t
make a move first thing, but at some point, you need to make it clear you want
both of you to share plans for the evening.
36. Don’t Be Scared To State Your Intentions
If
you’re feeling particularly bold, go ahead and state your intentions for the
night. Keep it classy and try to be romantic.
Tell
her you’d love to have her over to your place later.
She’ll
get the hint. Hell, she’ll probably even be relieved you’ve taken the guess
work out of things.
37. Keep Things Light And Flirty All Night
You’re going to have to work
for it, but flirting and keeping romance
levels high throughout the date are basics steps in getting laid.
Teasing
her and remaining upbeat will break down any walls between you two so the coast
will be clear at the end of the night.
38. Keep Touching
The
initial touch breaks the ice, but repeated touch helps create a bond and
reinforce your interest for her.
You’ll
be able to get helpful clues on your chances with how she responds.
Find
somewhere to sit on that walk so you can cuddle up against each other or sneak
an arm around her shoulders.
39. Throw The Invite Out There
If you
skipped step #36, at some point you’re going to have to ask her over. Make your
invite one easy to say yes to.
Every
woman knows what “come up for a drink” means.
Find
the right moment when things are good to ask her to come over to your place
later to watch a show or something.
40. Don’t Be Pushy
The
date has to be a gradual building up of touching and flirting to get to sex.
Acting
aggressive or pushy is not the way to go. It’ll end up blowing up in your face.
The
best way to go about things is to make a series of small moves and ease things
forward when they’re received well.
41. Stay In Control
So
much time and effort has been put into planning the date. Don’t let things slip
through your fingers. Women love to date assertive men.
Stay
in control of the date and keep things moving your way.
42. Don’t Be Discouraged If She’s Not Ready
Putting
women into uncomfortable situations is not how to get laid. If you get a “no
thanks,” respect it and move on.
Maybe
it’ll happen on the second date, maybe it never will.
In short, you have to be OK
with a “no.” It’s never a good move to sleep with a woman
who’s not sure it’s what she wants.
43. Casually Roll With A Yes
When
she does say “yes,” be cool. Even though you might be doing flips in your head
because you’re about to get lucky, play it off with a pleasantly even response.
However,
if you lay it on too thick, it might startle her.
44. Start In A Neutral Spot In Your House
You’ve
made it, she’s at your place! It’s important to take your time and ease into
things. Don’t march right into the bedroom.
Start
things off in a neutral location like the kitchen or a living room couch so she
can survey the scene and get comfortable.
45. Have Drinks On Hand To Loosen Up
This
is a just in case. Some people, you or her, might need a little liquid courage
to get things going.
However,
you’re not trying to get someone drunk to take advantage, here.
You're’re
just having some drinks on hand in case someone needs it to make a move.
46. Run The Bases
You’re
about to get laid, take your time to enjoy it. Starting at first base and
making your way around to home plate is the best way to savor the experience
and make sure you’re both on the same page.
It
also avoids the potential for the “Wait, this isn’t what I thought was going to
happen” bit.
47. Seal The Deal
When
you’ve done all you should, it’s time to close the deal. You’ve followed all
these steps on how to get laid and now you both get to reap the benefits of
great sex.
To learn how to become a
total master in the bedroom, you might want to look into improving your sexual
prowess here.
48. Shower Her With Compliments
It
could be during foreplay, as you have sex, immediately after, or in the days
after. You need to compliment her on how great she looks, feels, smells, and
whatever else you can think of.
Positive
feedback is the best way to guarantee this happens more than once.
49. Keep The Freak Locked Up
A
first date is not the best time to unleash the freak. Keep things saucy in bed,
but don’t overload on kink.
Not
every girl is into the crazy sex you might be.
Becoming
totally comfortable with someone in bed happens over time, not on the first
night.
50. Please Then Be Pleased
This
one’s easy, don’t be selfish in bed. Make sure you’ve given her everything she
wants before moving on to your needs.
51. The Follow Up
The
follow up will depend on whether you want to run things back again or not.
A nice
follow up after sex to tell her you had a great time is the way to go even if
you never plan on seeing her again.
For
something long-term, make sure you take your time for the right response to let
her know how much you’d like to see her again.
In
conclusion, getting laid should be a simple process. Find someone you like, see
if they like you and do what it takes to bring things home.
Follow these steps and keep
at it and it will eventually happen. Remember, it’s a numbers game…
Just
like anything else in life, the more you practice the better you’ll get. Don’t
work yourself up too much, women are just as nervous and meeting someone they
feel comfortable with.
Now
get out there are give it a shot.
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